CONFUSED
I'm so confused
howcome anything between us
depends
on you
if we go out, it's all on you
if we break-up it's cuz of you
I'm like the desperate person
just there for
the ride
never leaving your side
how do you know that I'm
gonna stay here
what if you come back and I'm gone
what
if I dissappear
what would you say then
would that hurt you like
you did me
or would you be o.k.?
would you
be deaf
not able to see
will you not move?
unalble to breathe
without me
I didn't think so
so I'm gonna
leave
The thought of you won't leave my mind
the pain just chose to
stay
if you need me give me a sign
but if not stay away.
I'm not the heartbroken bestfriend here
but I'm also not o.k.
things
aren't always how they appear
I take this on day after day.
You always say sorry like it'll make it fine
but sorry doesn't
feel as good as I thought
the pain and the grief will heal with time
but my friendship is all that you sought.
I don't know that I can deal with that
but you know for you,
I'll try
just don't expect me to bounce right back
I need to move-on with life
I stopped for a minute and cried for you
a minute I found to
waste
all this time I've wasted on
the pain that won't go away.
~Kayla~
Without You
by: Kasi
Without you,
I would sink into a state of blackness,
where no light enters,
and none escapes.
My grief would be beyond the comfort,
of tears running down my face...
Without you,
My world would have no meaning,
Just a place to waste my time,
Everyday
would be spent sleeping,
Wishing life would pass me by
Without you,
With you not there to hear me out,
My emotions will bottle
up,
My secrets will leak, and I'll shout,
I'll scream and be locked away
Without you,
Life would be an absolute bore,
With no jokes to make me laugh,
It
chills me down to the core,
To think you could be gone
MISSING SOMETHING**
I went to school today
Happy
Excited
Thinking
of you
Laughing
Talking
I smiled when you came beside me
You weren't smiling
You weren't talking
You weren't
happy
You weren't excited
But you were thinking of me
Thinking of how you could hurt me
Every move
Every word
Every
second
All planned
Atleast thats what it seemed like to me
I thought if you left me I would be nothing
I left
school today missing only one thing
And I don't want it back
-Kayla Leonard-
BEST FRIENDS**
You stood by me
Through thick and thin
Your
like my sister
Your my bestfriend
You cheered me on
When the going got tough
You keep my secrets
You
share the love!!
You take my side
Even when you know I'm wrong
Never question
what I do
You just smile and go along
You know I've got your back
Just tell me where and when
I'll
kick somebody's ass
Best friends to the end!!!
-Kayla Leonard-
I SHOULD HAVE NEVER**
I should have never looked at you
I should of walked on by
I should have never talked
to you
I should of rolled my eyes
I should have never liked you
I should of shut my mouth
I should have never
stayed with you
I should of walked right out
I should have never loved you
Cause my hearts now torn in two
I should
of ended us right then
But a should will never do!
-Kayla Leonard-
IF YOU.....**
If you knew what he was thinking what would you think
If you heard him talk what
would you say
If you saw him walking would you walk to him or would you run away
would you still be with him if you
found out what he really wanted from you
Would you be smart and just walk away
Or will you relive the pain over
and over again and stay with him for just a couple minutes of happiness.
~***~~~By Ashley Russ~~~***~
PLEASE DON'T...
don't say you're sorry if you're really not,don't say you'll give it all
you've got.don't say you love me if you don't even care,don't say you will be if you're never there,don't say you want me
if its just a lie.don't break my heart,cause you'll only make me cry.don't kiss me gently if you're just gonna leave,don't
tell me to have faith,if you don't believe.don't say you love me,then turn and walk away,don't say you wanna be with me unless
its everyday.don't make a promise you don't intend to keep,like the one you made to me,the one that made me weep.don't tell
me you'll always be there if you're just gonna leave,don't tell me i'm the center of the web that you weave.don't say i am
you whole wide world if you just wanna make me cry,and don't say you love me completely if its just a lie.don't you dare confess
your love when i know you've been with her,and don't pretend to tell the truth..cause to you,the truth's a blur.but most of
all,above all this,don't say you love me too,cause when i say i love you,u gotta know its true.don't say your lost without
my touch,that you'll die without my kiss,don't say that when you're holding me,all you need is this.don't kiss my lips,and
hold my hand,if you're planning to just let go,dont let me ask you if you love me,if you know the answer is no.dont ever,ever
touch my life the way you always do,beacuse you know without a doubt,that i'm nothing without you.~no clues who wrote this,
but I love it!!
And there he was,
Staring into my eyes as a child stares at candy.
He was an image of perfection.
His
sea blue eyes were as deep as the ocean,
And oh so full of mystery, like a treasure waiting to be opened.
He would win
any girls heart,
but he was awaiting MY responce to the question.
My stomach was churning like milk in a blender.
My
heart was beating as if I had run a marathon.
I was soo excited that he had asked me,
Not just any girl, but me.
All
I had to do was get the words out,
but it was too hard.
His perfection stunned my thoughts,
yet I managed to reply
in a cool manner, the words flowing off my lips as water flows through a stream.
"Sure, you can borrow my pencil."
~again no clues~
(inhale)
tears begin to flood my face like a cup left under a running faucet well after the
water has reached the rim,
my heart leaping to my throat,
getting caught,
squeezing,
twisting,
tearing,
my
throat contracting around the emotions that threaten to leap up and out of my lips,
my stomach,
rumbling,
wrestling,
knotting,
my
hands quiver as I reach up to blot the tiny teardrops,
leaving footprints down my cheeks.
the path that awaits me
suddenly
seems like a pilgrimage,
one foot,
next foot,
step,
step,
I see you.
(I see her.)
you smile
I smile.
(she
leaves.)
You ask how I am.
(I lie.)
I reply that I'm fine
(even though my heart has just crept up into my mouth
and is jumping up and down on my tongue like an olympic diver waiting to hit the water).
I want to say that I miss you,
let
you know that every moment I'm awake I think of you,
I want you to know that I miss your arms,
your smile,
your lips,
I
want you to know that
(I'm incomplete)
my body hurts,
my soul bleeds,
I ask how you are
(hoping against all
hope that you'll tell me what I want to hear).
you reply,
(your answer not including that you miss me, that you miss
my arms, my lips, my touch).
my eyes attempt to strip you down to your soul
(searching for what I once knew so well).
they
get lost,
(but find their way back to reality when they graze over the (ever-fading) hickey, just above the coller of the
shirt she bought you).
my heart leaps off the end of my tongue,
wanting you to see the way you hurt me
wanting you
to hurt the same way.
it falls to the ground.
(she calls you.)
you hastily say good-bye,
(as you trot over to
her)
stomping,
squishing,
mutilating,
my vulnerable, fallen heart,
(not even long enough to scrape it off the
bottom of your shoe, like a discarded piece of gum.)
she wraps her arms around your neck,
brings her lips to yours...
(your
ears turn red.)
people pass, as if I don't exsist.
(I want to cry, scream, shout.)
I want someone to find my heart,
bring
it back,
piece it together.
I turn away,
hoping that one day it won't hurt
(as much)
and hoping that I will
again be able to call you
and have you come over to me,
be able to buy you shirts that match your eyes,
(and leave
the telltale hickey just above the coller)
and will still be able to make your ears turn red from the fricktion of our
lips,
I walk away,
knowing my heart will not follow.
(enhale.)
~hahahaha...you guessed it, no clues, but chicken soup~
Ashley and I's fucked up poem
O.k., we wrote this in the car in the dark, when we were drunk,
lol, off of orangejuice, so hahahaha, you'll see....
We didn't tittle it
Kay-I think he's hot
Ash-But he's only worth
snot
Kay-He grabs at my butt
Ash-But he ain't got none
Kay-He got a big....lips
Ash-Which go in....kisses
Kay-He
fucks like a bull(what the hell was I thinking bout in the car? LOL)
Ash-He....oh look a birdy
Kay-Sorry I have a.d.d
Ash-He
looks like an angel
Kay-From a segal(nice rhyme)
Ash-He looks like ohh look another birdy
Kay-Damnit....look up at
the dead birdy
Ash-*looks up* where?
Kay-Sorry I'm not wearing underwear...hehehe
Ash-Ohh then thats a flashlight
Kay-Whoo
Josh don't touch me there
Ash-Wow wait please touch me there
Kay-Ohh better than Joe
Ash-Oh you know it so
Kay-Like
a corn row
Ash-There's so much dust on the bottle
(a song we were listening to)
Kay-Yay! I'm drunk off um....love
Ash-But
not with Joe J/k
Kay-Yeah you better be!
Ash-Oh hell no, just Josh, Hey don't you know him?
Kay-hmmm maybe....shhhhhhh
Ash-Oh
I knew it just like I knew bout _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Kay-shhh lalalala something that ryhmes with sea
Ash-weed
Kay-I gotta
pee J/k no really
Ash-Pee on the weed oh lumps lol (I don't know if she wrote the word lumps, but thats what it looks like)
Kay-Niccceee
one, Humps
Ash-Bumps, he just left the car to pee o.k. you get the keys and I'll fuck him
Kay-And your dad's name is
Tim, no Jim
Ash-Bingo now sing along
Kay-With this sad song
Ash-Pull my finger *FART*(no one farted, just to let
you know)
Kay-whoops need to change my thong
Ash-Oh yeah! Before Joe notices that now it's brown
Kay-Instead of pink
lalala....town
Ash-Oh know you pulled my finger(nice how you spelled no with a k)
Kay-sorry don't wanna linger
Ash-Damnit
Makayla did you have to eat all those eggs? (ewww eggs)
Kay-ewwwww dead
Ash-Who died, whut?
Kay-My thong, butt
Ash-O.k.
whatever wierdo
Kay-I love Joe
Ash-ewww why, j/k
Kay-Oh rock that shit biotch
Ash-Beotch
Kay-Biotch
(we
were arguing on how to spell it)
Ash-Oh I thought you put Botch in this right
Kay-Nice 1 biotch
Ash-I know
And then we got to STARBUCKS, OH YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fuck this life
I don’t care anymore
Leave me alone or
I’ll walk out the door
Don’t act like you care
Don’t treat me like you know me
I don’t give a shit anymore
Why can’t you see
I’m like this cuz of you
And you think that just because
I don’t have physical pain
That I’m not dying inside
I don’t live my life invain
Fuck them all for treating me kind
Then stabbing me in the back
With their own fucking knife
So fuck all those people
That lie to me everyday
Fuck you dad for hitting me
Fuck you mom for going away
Fuck you Will for being so dumb
Fuck you Ash for caring so much
Fuck you Joe for being so numb
Fuck you Grace for staying intouch
Fuck you Kasi for being a true friend
Fuck you Josh for calling me when you did
Fuck you Gurleen for being there till the end
Fuck you Hayes for leaving me in the cold
Fuck you Lauren your games were getting old
Fuck you Chelsea for not being there then being there
Fuck you people why do you care?
Fuck you Ashleigh get your own life
Fuck you Andrea you deserve more than Joe
Fuck you Patrick and I don’t know why
Fuck you Tobias don’t you hurt my girl
Cuz if you do I can bring down your world
Fuck you Dustin if I could I would kick your ass
Fuck you Grampa for pretending to be there
Fuck you life for going and never looking back
Fuck my future husband for my future life
He better run and hide the knife
Fuck you happy pills you don’t work anyway
Yet I continue to take you every single day
So FUCK YOU LIFE
